Carol

Shepherd

I'm Carol Shepherd from Barns Green near Horsham. I'm a member of St Nicolas, Itchingfield.

I was born in England, christened, married in church, had our 3 children who were christened, went to weddings and a couple of funerals and when asked what faith I would say C of E. These things made me a Christian, didn't they? A week after my 40th birthday every thing changed. Now I know the difference. I was born in 1946 and when I was about 10 my sister and I were sent to Sunday school. Any forms that were filled in with the question of faith, they always put C of E, so when I was old enough to write my own forms I also would put C of E.

I met my husband when I was 17 and we married in church mainly because that was the way it was done then. We had three children and the first two were christened because the family expected it, again tradition, and our 3rd child we never had christened because by then we were in the age of 'we'll let him make his own choice when he is ready'.

In time our marriage became quite rocky but we plodded on existing in a relationship for the 'children's sake'. In 1985 we had a chance to move into the village we still live in. It took a year to actually move in and I can remember saying that when we move we should join the church, but that was only to 'fit in' as it were.

There isn't a church in the village so I did nothing about it. Two weeks after moving in a group from the Free Church in the next village sent letters to every home saying that they were going to hold monthly Sunday evening 'come and see' type of thing, to find out about Jesus. I rang the Minister up and he came round and spoke to both of us, and invited us to the evening meeting. Dave was working so I went along on my own.

I didn't know a soul but felt quite comfortable although many people had their hands in the air and were singing and praising God and 'talking' to Him just like they would talk to a friend. It was all very new to me and a bit strange but still I felt quite peaceful. A young couple introduced themselves and invited me to their home the following Friday evening. I went along and during the worship and prayers I asked them how they were able to be so informal and open with God.

One of them told me it was because they had asked God to forgive them and for Jesus to come into their lives and help them to follow Him and believe in Him. Well after the evening finished I went home and while I was getting ready for bed I was washing my face and found myself praying the prayer of salvation. Immediately I had an over whelming feeling of light and warmth go from my toes right up through my head and a huge weight seemed to be lifted from me. I didn't know there was a 'burden ' on my shoulders till it was lifted off. I felt wonderful and completely at peace with myself.

On the Sunday I was going to Church with the family from the home group. When I knocked on the door their son opened it and said without any warning, "I'm a Christian, are you?" His father heard him and I said "I think so. I gave my life to Christ on Friday after the meeting and have felt so different". He said telling them confirmed it and I was now truly reborn, a new creation. On November 17th 1986 I was baptized by total immersion and that was a day to remember. All my family came and a few friends.

During the service our daughter became very agitated and walked out with my mother and husband. She said "you don't want us, why did you have us, you only want God". My husband said "if you go through with this our marriage is over" and Mum just wanted us all to go home. All the time I had this enormous peace within me. I spoke with the Pastor and he said it was my decision and we prayed about it. I knew that if I went home my family would have thought that I wasn't really committed, my husband would probably felt guilty and I would have felt I'd turned my back on God and in the end we would all drift apart. Instead I knew without a doubt that if I went ahead God's love would see us all through to a better life. So I went ahead. My father said I looked radiant when I was giving my testimonies. I thought I must have looked a mess with tears rolling down my face knowing my family were so distraught but I was in Gods' care and He wasn't going to let me down or see my family disintegrate.

Life hasn't been easy but over the years I know my family are proud of me and accept that I am a Christian and they aren't YET, Each step I take with God gets stronger and bolder. I have written many songs since knowing the Lord Jesus and have spoken in a few churches giving my testimony and singing some of them. It is a real joy and one day my husband and I will share the same joy and work together for the Lord.

We have now passed 43 years of marriage. The 39th year Satan really had ago at breaking us up but when I found out that our 40th was on Easter Sunday I knew that we would survive and things have gradually got better and better. Praise God